Dear Parishioners,
Every year, I am part of a class with our eighth graders as they prepare for Confirmation. During the class, the students are invited to ask their pastor any questions they may want to ask. Some of the questions are easy to answer, such as “Why did you want to become a priest?” Others are more challenging, like questions about the relationship between science and religion. But the most challenging questions are the ones that have to do with the Catholic Church’s position on LGBTQ issues.
Typical questions range from, “Why is the church so against gay marriage if you are supposed to love and support everyone?” to “What is St. Andrew Parish’s stance on the LGBTQ community?” In my responses, I try to faithfully explain what the church teaches which includes respecting the dignity of gay people as children of God. I want to reassure them that, “All are welcome” at Saint Andrew, including members of the LGBTQ community.
This year though, a question appeared that I hadn’t heard before; “Will God still love me if I’m gay?” Of course, my response was “Yes. God will still love you, unconditionally, just as God loves us all.” But, it really pained me that someone within our community wondered if God would love them if they were gay. It troubled me to think that the question was assuredly entertained by more than one student.
This past week, the Vatican answered the question submitted by the German bishops conference as to whether or not it was permissible for a priest to bless a civilly married gay couple. The answer was rendered in the negative, and the response was accompanied by an explanation that wounded many people, gay and straight alike, because of the insensitive language that was used.
My heart broke for the members of the LGBTQ community, some of whom are in loving and committed relationships and whom I count as my dearest friends. I thought of how painful it would have been for them and for their families to read the words from the Vatican published this past week.
Interestingly, the explanation cited Pope Francis’ General Audience of December 2, 2020, where he spoke about blessings. But the Pope’s words cited in the explanation did not include his brilliant dissection of the etymology of the Italian word for blessing, “benedice.” In the general audience, the Holy Father explained, “bene” means “good,” while “dice” means “to speak.” Bene-dice quite literally means to “speak goodness.” A blessing then is the act of speaking goodness about the thing that is being blessed, just as God did with the creation of the world in the Book of Genesis. At the end of every day, “God saw that it was good.” I thought of so many trying to make sense of the inherent contradiction in the Vatican’s response where at one point when speaking about same-sex unions, the church acknowledged the “presence in such relationships of positive elements, which are in themselves to be valued and appreciated,” and then at another point in the document gave a conclusion ruling that these positive elements cannot be a “spoken good” worthy of a blessing.
I was also filled with fear at the thought that some would use this statement as a justification for their hatred and violence against the LGBTQ community. One only need to read current discussions on social media to see the uncharitable words being used. Regrettably, uncharitable words online will spill over into brutal and even lethal actions in the real world.
Most of all though, my heart was filled with sadness and anxiety at the thought of what a 14-year-old student at Saint Andrew School, or any other school for that matter, would have heard in this response. Without a firm understanding of the theological jargon, philosophical arguments, and hairsplitting distinctions used in the response from the Vatican, would such a child have heard that they are loved by God, and by their church? Or would they be part of the anecdotal evidence that suggests youth suicide hotlines see an increase in calls whenever the church makes a pronouncement on gay issues?
At Saint Andrew Parish we can’t independently change the church’s teaching on the blessing of gay marriages, but we can change how we accompany members of the LGBTQ community on their faith journey. We can change how we support gay loving couples who try to live good and holy lives. We can change how we welcome gay families who seek to have their children baptized in the Catholic Church and enrolled in our school and religious education program. They are our brothers and sisters who deserve our love and respect. Our parish ministries must always speak louder than any pronouncement, that they are loved and have a welcoming home at Saint Andrew Parish and school.
We can change, and we must change, because no child or adult should ever have to ask, “Will God love me if I’m gay?”
Fr. Sergio Romo
Pastor
